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Question for the Community: Helping An Autistic Teen In Your Ministry

by Seth Bartlette
Monday, September 24, 2012
All, Blog
4 comments

We’re counting on you to help us answer this question from a fellow youth-worker:

I have an autistic student in my ministry. In most situations he's perfectly fine and well-behaved often contributing to our discussions, but he can also be very overbearing with girls and gets very upset when he feels like they're ignoring him... sometimes to the point of yelling but always to the point of agitation and isolation. Conversations with him, his family, and the girls do very little to help the situation or give us insight in how to help him. Have any of you dealt with a similar situation? What have you learned? Do you know of any resources for me?

Time to weigh in with your thoughts, YMG Team. Help Matt by commenting below. Thanks!

Tags:Question for the Community

4 comments

1
Noah StarksenMonday, September 24, 2012 10:45 PM
We have had the pleasure of having a few autistic students in our ministry, and presently have a couple. The way that we have generally gone about this is to talk candidly with the parents and ask them how he/she functions at school, and any boundaries that the parent or school has for the student. It is also very helpful to try to talk to the school he/she goes to, they generally have great insight in helping the students function in social settings. One thing that I have learned is that generally (I do not want to stereotype, this is just my experience), these students function better with rules and boundaries, when there are looser rules, they aren't sure what is and isn't acceptable.
2
ChadWednesday, October 03, 2012 11:31 AM
I have had the privilege of working with people with disabilities as a profession before getting into youth ministry and I have a couple of tips. First, please make sure that you always say they are a student with autism not an autistic student. This may seem small but it communicates a big message that they are a person, first and foremost, that happens to have autism. Second, like Noah mentioned, talk to others in this student's life. Often people with disabilities have certain structures at home or school that help them to cope with their disability (much like my wife sets our clocks 5-minutes fast to cope with our "being late disability"). Also, they may have a case worker or special counselors/therapists that have tips and goals for them. Structure and order are often very important for people with autism (at varying levels). Also, read some literature on autism (and maybe some other more common disabilities while your at it) that will help you gain some insight into their world. Autism (and similarly aspergers) is one of the most diagnosed disabilities out there and has a TON of new resources that continue to come out every day. Finally, like all people, everyone is different. You may have to do some things differently for this student than for most other students. You may have to set some different boundaries or have some different rules in place for them to help them along. You probably can't do things the way you've always done them. But not only is that OK, it's probably good news because you'll have a new outlook on people and life and it opens the doors to some creativity. You may also be surprised if you handle things with love and the best of your ability, you may find more people with disabilities in your ministry (you may even have more than you know right now because not all disabilities are as obvious). Keep praying, keep seeking God, and keep loving. Do those things and you'll be fine.
3
Tom ShriverThursday, October 11, 2012 10:39 AM
I've had this situation a couple of times. I suggest finding an adult volunteer who is good with special needs students - preferably a female in this case - to be his 1 on 1 mentor every week. We had one of these with a youth named Kevin. Kevin could be loud (often screaming profanities) and disruptive but it was amazing to see how he changed when he had an adult giving him attention the entire time he was there. I would strongly encourage doing this!
4
James WatsonTuesday, October 16, 2012 6:59 PM
Talk to the parents. I know we don't want to bother parents when we know that it is tough raising a child with special needs. However, parents know their kids better than we do. In fact, the behavior you are witnessing probably happens at home. Parents will be able to tell you how to handle the student when certain behaviors present themselves. Autistic students have a different way of processing their environments that "typical" students. So talk to the parents and ask a lot of questions. Being a "special needs" friendly minsitry does not mean taking whatever comes; rather it means actually ministering to the students. That necessarily involves the parents. First of all they will want to know what's going on. Second of all, they will be more than willing to provide guidance in how to better minister to their student. Believe me, nobody asks parents about how to minister to their kids with autism and it can cause a lot of resentment when they think that nobody cares. Communication can go a long way to helping you and earning their trust.